GAP YEARS...lame lame lame or do it again?

So i went on my gap year last September and i got back this August...11months in total.

I have wanted to travel since i started 6th form, i always knew i would go eventually. I decided to get through Uni and everything first because i knew if i took a gap year before i would have struggled to focus on studying for 3 years. I am very glad i made that decision now...
Since i have got back, instead of settling that part of me that was restless..i have ignited the travel bug! I am desperate to go again...having met so many people who have recommended places to see i am dying to experience more!

The problem?? Well naturally the thing that prevents us doing whatever we want £££ and my lack of it! That and at SOME point i am going to have to think about starting a proper career and settling down and doin g something REALISTIC. I know i could go off and be a travel guide for some tour company if i really wanted to go off and see the world..but i want the best of both worlds..to live around my home comforts, family and friends and then travel for a few months here and there..rather than permanently be away from home!

So it got me thinking..what did i get out of my gap year and would i recommend it to other people? If i had the opportunity to go back and change anything would i and was it worth the hard work and saving it took to get there?

Well, i got a lot out of it! i realised my boyfriend was definately not the guy i thought he was, although that was more a realisation once we had returned home..luckily the 11 months we were away together was pretty amazing and mostly argument-free.
I met a lot of amazing people, some who i know i will be in contact with for a long time yet, and others i know i will never ever see again..but all of them made the experience better for me..influenced the way i saw other countries and people and the opinions i formed of them.

Seeing other countries and experiencing other cultures was fantastic, you learn a lot about yourself..what you value and how lucky you are compared to some people that you meet along the way. It humbles you a lot of the time, seeing some of the lifestyles and situations people have to cope with. And being lucky enough to belong to a society that has enabled me to travel on such a trip and spend my money on that kind of thing.

I got to do some fantastic activities, i swam with wild dolphins in NZ, climbed Sydney harbour bridge, saw ballet at the Opera House, climbed a glacier, did a skydive, went up the CN Tower, Saw a show on broadway, went up the 'Rocky' steps, saw the White House, Went to Angkor Wat the Cu Chi Tunnels saw some stunning scenery...I also got a wonderful sun tan!!!!! haha.


But..was it the BEST thing i ever did or the WORST?

I have returned to having no money, no proper job and no idea of what kind of job i even want, i was overweight, i recently became single, i was unhappy at being back in British weather. The novelty of seeing friends and family soon wore off although at first it was fantastic. I am unsettled because all i want to do is go travelling again..and i have no money to do that which is depressing, no job that pays well enough to save some..but because of the way i'm feeling i am not doing job applications justice and therefore am unlikely to find a well-paid job anytime soon.
PLUS there is that risk that if i do find a decent job that pays pretty well i'll get stuck in it because i like having money..and then the chances of going on another trip are pretty much 0!! It's almost like taking a step backwards..having to go right back to basics and think about where i'm heading all over again.

I know i know, i should be grateful i got to go..and i really really am! All i am saying is if people are considering going on a trip, no matter how short or long the trip may be then they should be prepared for all the bad feelings that happen when you have to come crashing back down to live in the real world! it is worth it for sure, but it takes much more strength and determination to pick yourself up and get stuck into 'normality' than it does to get on a plane with a prospect of 11 months away from home!

sex with an ex? can you ever really be friends?

So after my latest relationship ended after 2 years, the first thing my ex said to me was that he didn't want to lose me as a friend. I have been 'best' friends with him for 7 years now..the last 2 were spent in a relationship..so part of me would like to think it is possible..and yet it got me thinking back to my other relationships..well the more serious ones anyway..and i just wonder if it is actually realistically possible to stay friends with an ex..i mean like..REALLY friends..truthfully, brutally honest and there for each other no matter what? hardly think the new girlfriend or boyfriend would like the idea?

Trying to work out if there is a reason you can't be friends with an ex is harder than just being friends or not being friends.In some cases i guess you just grow apart, i found that with my school age boyfriends..

• I guess growing up is a big part of it, you have different kinds of relationships as you get older, they are based on different things and mean more..they are more involved and serious..though i know at 15/16 romantic attachments seem like the only thing that matter.
  Obviously the break-up is a big factor..if you part during a screaming row throwing things at each other and swearing, catch your other half in bed with someone else or something then obviously you won't be on 'friendly' terms! See but i didn't really have any break-ups like that..so technically i suppose it might not have anything to do with that at all. In fact at least a screaming break-up severs all ties neatly..no ambiguous feelings, awkward attempts to be nice and make polite chat which is kind of worse i guess, the ambiguity of a 'nice' break-up because then you have to face them and go over it all...the 'whys and what ifs'.
  
  I also know for sure it has a lot to do with the boyfriend or girlfriend who follows you...even if you have an amicable split..which most of mine were..when the next person comes along..they aren't going to want an ex hanging around..someone who may or may not have been better in bed, a better cook, a better girlfriend. It is awkward.
  
  It is DEFINATELY different for girls and boys, well in my experience anyway. Girls have a tendency to analyze everything, every action, conversation and more..whereas boys just switch off their emotions and move on. In my experience it is always the guy who moves on first..maybe because they aren't as emotionally expressive as girls and they can't face being alone..they just follow their sex organs to the next person and form new, completely separate emotional attachments..whereas i think girls go through all the emotion, and think about it even in their next relationship, use it as a guide with the next guy they meet etc etc.. basically prolonging the agony of the break-up even further.
  
  No matter how friendly you were with someone before a relationship.. a problematic area i find myself in frequently..you never go back to that after a break-up. There will always be things you can't say anymore..you can't exactly sit there and discuss your latest bedroom antics..your relationship problems..as if you want to admit to your ex that life isn't peachy now you aren't with them anymore. You never want to let them think you miss them, or how much they hurt you, how good the sex was. You can't deny you always kind of want to get one over on your ex..be in the next relationship first, for it to last longer than theirs..to prove that you can cope without them. its about points scoring and anyone who says it isn't is lying!